Nomenclature Rant

OK how many of you still call us East Indians? It is only in Canada that I have come across it. Even in the States, that morass of geographical ignorance, they call us Indians. Is it to distinguish us from West Indians and the Aboriginal population?

I look at it semantically. I am from India therefore I am Indian. What is this East Indian bullcrap? Anyway now I just say South Asian because I am never sure whether someone is Pakistani, Bangladeshi, Sril Lankan, Maldivian, or Indian. Sometimes I can tell by their names but not always.

And then there is this Asian concept. Asia for Canadians encompasses only East Asia and South East Asia. So when Canadians say Asian they could mean anyone from Burma to China including Vietnam, Korea, Phillipines, and Japan. But the rest of Asia is excluded. Hey, last I heard India, Iraq and Uzbekistan were still in Asia. Am I wrong? Has there been a geographical revolution since I was last in school?

And then there is the Middle East. Turkey to Afghanistan. Middle of what? East of what? East of Europe. Middle of … a trade route? Something to do with old colonial concepts of Far East, Near East and then Middle East. I dunno, you tell me. Does not South West Asia make more sense? I’ll try and post a map of Asia and let’s open it to the public.

I think we need compulsory standardised testing in geography for all Canadians. Don’t argue. Immigrants are forced to take a stupid culture test on Canada before they are given their Canadian passports. The majority of Canadians would fail that test. Why is the burden of a national Canadian identity being hoisted on us immigrants? And to compound the humiliation we have to swear allegiance to a decrepit, redundant monarchy, a queen in whose name our countries were colonised, pillaged, exploited and generally reduced to rubble and sectarian ashes. And speaking of the queen and colonialism, you know why the Brits can have free admission to their museums and do you know what’s in their museums? COLONIAL PLUNDER!!! LOOT!! STOLEN GOODS!! But I digress. Did you notice I digressed? So anyway, you will not be allowed to renew your driver’s license until you take a world geography test.

by: Isaac Thomas