John Ng's Top 10 Signs You're Jet-Lagged in HK

10. You keep flipping through the TV channels at 3 a.m. hoping to find a shot of Ben Mulroney and Tanya Kim.

9. While haggling at the street market, you insist the vendor knock off the GST.

8. You look for the Texas Hold'em Mah-Jongg table at the Macau casino.

7. Two words: McRice Burger.

6. During the dolphin boat tour, you swear you hear the captain yell, "I think I found Nemo!"

5. You get into a cab and the first thing you say to the driver is "Whatever you do, just avoid the DVP."

4. Over dim sum, you ask the waiter, "You think Pat Quinn should've been fired, lah?"

3. You actually just want a massage at the massage parlour.

2. You buy a bag of peanuts to feed the cockroaches in the park.

1. You see a big Jackie Chan billboard and say to yourself, "I can kick his sorry ass!"